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The Christian home – Daniel Bishop

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18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Colossians 3.18-21

Wives submit to your own husbands.

The Greek uses hupotasso which means ‘to obey, to put under subjection and submit’. It has got nothing to do with value but everything to do with God’s appointed order: the woman is to submit to a husband. But this doesn’t negate her value.

28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 3.28

This is not retracted, we all have equal value in Christ but God determines headship, not the world. God determines headship not the world, therefore, in the family unit, the husband is the ‘head’, the wife is a ‘deputy’ and the children are to obey their parents.

It further says as ‘is fitting to the Lord'. Wives are to submit to their husband as is fitting to the Lord. This is crucial because the wives are to submit their husbands in so far as it is fitting to the Lord, this means as far as it doesn’t cause her to sin.

And then, a higher order I believe on the husbands:

husbands, love your wives.

Notice it doesn’t say ‘wives love your husbands‘ but it says husbands love your wives.

The love here is agape which means ‘love, beloved’ and it’s ‘self-sacrifice’. God demands husbands love their wives.

You may be reminded of a certain scripture Ephesians 5.25

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

Ephesians 5.25

Husbands, Jesus is who we emulate and how He treats the church is how we treat our wives.

Christ had nails driven through His hands and His feet for His Bride. A husband should be willing to die for his wife.

The spiritual head of the family is the father. His job is to nurture his wife, protect his wife, defend his wife. That is what a husband should do.

You see, when a wife submits to a husband as the Lord and a husband loves his wife the same way Christ loves the church, the marriage is in harmony.

It’s when one of these things isn’t done, when the wife isn’t submitted to a husband or when the husband isn’t loving his wife like Christ loved the church, that’s when we get discord.

Children, obey your parents in all things.

Ephesians 6.2 says,

2 “Honour your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:

Ephesians 6.2

Children, if you’re living under your parents’ roof, you are to obey your parents.

The Greek word here is hypacouete which means ‘listen attentively, heed to conform, hearken and obedience to a command’.

Children, you need to obey your parents unto God. If you’re a Christian child, please obey your parents.

I was then thinking of my own two little children. They’re very, very small and then, I was reflecting on the Lord Jesus.

You may be reminded of Luke 2.51 where it says that Jesus obeyed his parents.

51 Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart.

Luke 2.51

If any of you have had children, you may sympathize with Mary because it must have been quite a come down coming from Jesus and then having her subsequent children who probably didn’t obey the same way the Lord Jesus did. For this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers do not provoke your children unless they become discouraged.

I found this quite challenging myself because as fathers we are meant to set an example to our children. Our children are always watching us, our children are watching us on how a Christian should be.

When our children look at us, do they see a Sunday Christian, or do they see a 24/7/365 Christian? Do they see a Christian that shows them how a man of God lives?

I do pray that as my boys get older that I would show them what a believer looks like an hour believer acts.

Fathers don’t provoke your children unless they become discouraged.

We are meant to discipline our children, yet we’re meant to do it in a loving way. And we’re also meant to nurture them and give them the Gospel.

Coming from a Christian home doesn’t bring them along but giving them the Gospel, showing them what a Christian man and certainly a wife and a mother should be does. We should show that in our daily walk.

So, in summary, wives submit to your husbands, husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church, children are obey your parents, fathers don’t discourage your children, show them what a Christian man looks like demonstrated in your daily walk. Do not let them just hear you say it but let it be manifested in your actions.

Fathers and husbands, be the head of your home.

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